On Humility

Your Ego is Not Your Amigo

This phrase, while very silly, has always resonated with me. From a young age, I’ve learned to reduce my own ego to something quite small and unobtrusive. This has come from a great many humbling experiences, as well as philosophical exploration.

Here are few examples of times I’ve learned (and re-learned) the lesson of humility.

Stranger in a Strange Land

The first time I can remember being humbled, I was barely out of diapers. At the age of 3, my parents and I moved from Seattle, Washington to West Germany in the early 1980s. All of a sudden, I was the stupid American kid who didn’t know the culture or speak the language. Other kids could barely communicate with me as I clumsily attempted to learn the language and navigate their weird ass foods. Like seriously, what kid wants to eat frickin’ sauerkraut? Talk about an acquired taste!

Needless to say, frustration and anxiety from being the outsider eventually boiled over to altercations both physical and verbal. I distinctly remember being chased down the street by older German kids who occasionally caught up to me to literally kick my ass. The force of their foot would painfully propel me further up the street as I kept running until they caught up to me again and gave me another kicking. This happened all the way home, where the presence of adults nearby discouraged any further abuse until the next time.

I never fought back. I don’t know why. Violence has never been my forte. This is ironic if you take into account the violent music I listen to and the reckless brutality I would unleash upon a drum set back in my day.

Food Fight

One of my parents’ favorite stories from this time was when I got into a verbal altercation with a young German girl. No idea why we were fighting, most likely a misunderstanding since my grasp of the language was tentative at best. But I was so frustrated with her and really wanted to call her a mean name to show her how I felt. However, no one had really covered teaching me mean names in German as I was all of about 5 years old at this time.

“Du, du….du tostbrot!!” I finally yelled at her as everyone within earshot erupted into laughter, causing my face to turn about 9 shades of red.

“You piece of toast!” I had managed to call her.

Rockstars Have to Go to Work, Too

Fast forward to the mid 2000s, probably around 2008 or 2009 I believe, when I was in the band Reno Divorce. We were on the rise at the time, finishing up our 3rd album, Tears Before Breakfast, negotiating a record deal with I Scream Records (distributed by Warner Brothers in the States), and preparing for a couple of high profile European tours in 2009.

While all this sounds so very cool, what “rockstars” often neglect to mention is their day job. Many professional musicians have day jobs, they just don’t generally advertise that fact as it’s really not cool. And like many other aspiring and also, unfortunately, actual rockstars, I had a day job at this time as well.

One morning as I was driving in to said day job, the coffee barely kicked in enough to get me out the front door, I heard a rocking tune come on the radio. As usual, I was particularly focusing on the drums and it was uncanny how I was able to predict what the drummer was going to do next… Holy crap, THAT’S ME! I’M ON THE RADIO!!

The local alternative station morning show had started testing out our song “Behind Closed Doors” in their rotation and I was lucky enough to hear it on my way to the office. For those that have never experienced it, the sound of your own hard work and art coming out of the speakers to an audience of tens of thousands all at once is not something that can be easily described.

It’s like being on top of the world for a few minutes, but the feeling sticks with you all day, all week even.

If you’ve ever seen the film That Thing You Do, there’s a fantastic scene where they hear their song on the radio for the first time and take over an appliance store, turning on every single stereo and portable radio in the place to blast out their tune to the whole world. The excitement is absolutely infectious to anyone with you at the time, as can be witnessed in the movie as well, with the appliance store staff trying their best to stay grumpy about these hooligans taking over their store, but eventually rocking the heck out with the band and their snappy little number.

But then, the song is over, the DJ announces the band’s name and the song title and probably says something that’s vaguely inaccurate about us (thanks, dude) and then the reality that I’m on my way to work settles back in.

Five minutes later, I’ve parked and somehow I’m supposed to work a crappy day job at the electric company when I was just a rockstar.

The dichotomy is insane. Imagine Axl Rose hears “Paradise City” on the radio, windows down and volume up as he rocks out royally to his gargantuan anthem, and then he goes in to punch a clock at his office job, dressed in business casual attire. Yeah, that was me. My hair was even in a ponytail because it was apparently too fabulous in all its long glory to be exposed in the office.

Keeping It Real

And so, regardless of the highs I’ve had in my life, I do my best to keep it real and stay humble, because I know that they are often followed by those humbling moments. And I welcome them, because again, your ego is not your amigo. And neither is mine!